This is our blind spot. It is the part of ourselves we don’t see but others see it.
Also known as our subconscious self.
People may be able to see our blind spot during our unguarded moments such as our reactions to challenges, bad habits, misgivings, animosity, unresolved issues, etc.
We express ourselves. We react. We behave. We perform in a manner that we are not aware of but others see something in us that we do not see. They see a hidden person or personality inside of us, a hidden past coming out of our mouth, behavior, or reaction.
Extreme examples of this category are the hardened criminals. They have become callous, blunt, and, with a seared conscience, they believe that what they have done in every crime is just.
Example 1: The Robin hood Complex–They rob the rich to feed the poor. Most poor people think that this is a noble thing, a justified thing to do so they think this is also good. It is sin to steal or rob. If we have done this, God requires us to return what we stole or robbed from others and must add 20%. Giving it to the poor won’t make it right. ( Leviticus 6:1-7 ESV, Exodus 22:1 ESV, Exodus 22:4 ESV )
Example 2: The Harlot Mentality-a sexually immoral man or woman who goes public. He/she thinks there is nothing wrong selling his/her flesh for survival as long as he/she is not killing or stealing from others.
Example 3: The Law Breaker–he/she goes away breaking the law as a habit like crossing streets disregarding traffic signs and designated walkways. There is also the Litterbug who carelessly litters anywhere like candy wrappers, gum, cigarette butts, etc.
Example 4: The Chronic Liar–he/she tells stories spiced with lies and false information without due regard to accuracy of information or awareness of truth. This type of person is usually a flatterer, a sycophant. Motivation: attention
Example 5: The Pessimist–one who sees things negatively, assuming the worst. He/she doesn’t like to take risks like treading on untested grounds or stepping on water. Motivation: fear
Example 6: The Man-Pleaser–he/she cannot say no to people. There is an unspoken need to be accepted so he/she tries to please everybody. Motivation: low self-esteem
Bitterness
It is like a sown seed that will take root below and will bear fruit above. A bitter tree has bitter roots. It bears bitter fruit. Anyone who eats this fruit will eat its bitterness. If a person who eats this does not know how to get rid of this bitterness, eventually, he will also become bitter. Heb.12:14,15.
Rejection Pain
A child in the womb unwanted by a parent or at a prime age verbally abused with words demeaning his/her self-esteem or self-image would likely harbor rejection pain. Appallingly, this pain can come at any age. The scenario would always seem to involve somebody as the offender. It can be a parent, a guardian, a sibling, a spouse, a teacher, somebody, or a nobody. The offense simply takes root–deep into the person’s life with pains of rejection.
My childhood as a graphic example is not a rare case. There can be cases more painful than mine but all these boil down to rejection pain, the root of all pain that will bear bitter fruit above.
Bitter Tree
Matthew 7:17 NKJV
Even so, every good tree bears good fruit, but a bad tree bears bad fruit.
Matthew 7:18 NKJV
A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, nor can a bad tree bear good fruit.
Root of Bitterness defiles many
In Heb.12:14 it reads: Pursue peace with all people, and holiness, without which no one will see the Lord: 15 looking carefully lest anyone fall short of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up cause trouble, and by this many become defiled;
Rejection pains, when rooted bitterly, will mold reactions and responses, and they become our character; then, our character becomes our personality.
When confronted with issues connected to the pains of rejection, the drama becomes intense. Emotion goes unpredictable. It can go out of control and be destructive. In this moment, demons may take the opportunity to demonize a bitter person into committing sin. However, God, in His wisdom, defined the line of probability. The devil cannot make choices for any human being. Even the most bitter person on earth has to choose either to emote or to suppress bitterness. The spirit of bitterness or any demon can only do their own thing when allowed by the will of the bitter person and, above all, by the Will of God. Man’s free will was instituted by God that no spirit being, neither an angel nor a demon, can violate. it is in this sense that man is fully responsible for his emotions, behaviors, and actions, a product of his choice.
We hear people say, “I had no choice”. This is not true. Our freedom to make a choice is never removed from us. This is in operation even when we are unconscious. It is in this reality that we should not entertain or utter any death wish. It may come at a time when our will is too weak to resist death.
Free will is a person’s conscious and subconscious ability to make choices. If one chooses to surrender one’s will to demons, then they can take control of the will. Likewise, if one chooses to surrender one’s will to God, then He can take control of one’s life in spirit and in truth.
Therefore submit to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you. James 4:7 NKJV
Bitter Fruit
Isaiah 11:1 A shoot will come up from the stump of Jesse; from his roots a Branch will bear fruit.
The bitterness hidden, if unresolved, will take root in the Seond Window, and bear fruit in the Third Window. It becomes part of the character and manifests as a blind spot. In the Third Window. where the subconscious self becomes public. This is seen in the emotional outburst blown out of proportion when a person is confronted with issues similar to his/her unresolved bitter past.
Sometime in 1985 when I was engrossed with my plans on the drawing board, my wife casually approached me. With a peaceful tone and mode, she asked if I saw her purse. I snapped. Angrily I replied that I did not know where it was. My wife froze in stunned disbelief.
What triggered my outburst? It was the purse.
The Story of a Lost Purse
I was about 10 [?] years old when my mother was looking for her lost purse. We were a big family living in a two story house with helpers. My mother was quite upset, scolding all of us in the house in a very loud voice–so loud that I supposed it could be heard by our neighbors. She was pointing her accusing finger to everybody as the suspect. Her unjustified accusation ignited my boldness to speak up for everybody. There is a strong sense in me to stand up for justice. It is like a creed written in my subconscious self so that when there is injustice, it is triggered. And it comes out in a defiant tone, an absolutely forbidden behavior in front of elders. I said to my mother,” It could be possible that you have just misplaced it.” Instead of taking my unsolicited suggestion that the purse could have been misplaed and not stolen, my mother became furious at me, accusing me as the thief because, according to her, if I were innocent I could have just remained quiet. I tried to reason out some more, but this made her more furious–beating me up repeatedly so that the pain was indeed intense and unforgettable. At a young age, I was embittered. Dazed by the painful blows, I couldn’t fathom any reason why I should be punished for airing my perception that the purse might be lying somewhere else, untouched and not stolen. Days went by but my mom did not give any update if her purse was found or stolen. At least, the peaceful atmosphere that later transpired at home was more important than knowing what happened with the purse. My mom was raised up by her strict father and mother who didn’t hesistate in punishing every wrong doing. And that was what she often told us when we are scolded. Making us aware that talking back to parents is a grave sin; but I resented this rule in my heart because I did not see anything wrong in discussing issues objectively. Why should I not speak when what I will say is right? In my mind, it does not make sense.
When my wife came looking for her purse, it was a symbolic incident. It is history repeating itself, a visitation of iniquity exposing the hidden bitterness that was first sown when my mom was looking for her lost purse as mentioned in the Bible.
He graciously loves thousands, and forgives iniquity, transgression, and sin. But he does not leave the guilty unpunished, visiting the iniquity of the ancestors on their children, and on their children's children to the third and fourth generation." Exodus 34:7 ISV
In some Bible versions, what is written there is that children are punished for the sins of the fathers until the third and fourth generation. I believe the right sense there is that children are visited by the iniquity of the parents. God does not punish children for the sin of their parents nor parents are punished for the sins of their children. See Ezekiel 18
1Then the word of the LORD came to me, saying, 2 “What do you people mean by quoting this proverb about the land of Israel: ‘The fathers have eaten sour grapes,and the teeth of the children are set on edge’? 3 As surely as I live, declares the Lord GOD, you will no longer quote this proverb in Israel. 4 Behold, every soul belongs to Me; both father and son are Mine. The soul who sins is the one who will die. Ezekiel 18
Together, my wife and I prayed forgiving my mom, uprooting this root of bitterness. After that, every time my wife would be looking for something, I remained unperturbed.
Incidents In Two Schools Activated My Bitterness
These were in two different schools, both similar incidents, where one teacher scolded and held me accountable for a wrong done by others and the other teacher in another school at a different time scolded me for not taking notes during her lecture in class. Both incidents have provoked me to talk back–to reason out in order to justify my actions, particularly, when I believed that I was falsely accused. In those days, expressing your innocence or simply articulating your point of view to any authority figure like teachers are considered arrogance. Naturally, this aggravated the teachers’ ire. At the end of the semester, they failed me. These made me more bitter.
After college, I have conveniently forgotten those painful incidents. I got married, came to know the Lord and had children. I heard people say that time heals. This is false.
God made it clear with me that only forgiveness heals. Wounds are healed by forgiving the person that caused the hurt so time does not heal.
The Lord, in His loving permission, allowed the bitter spirit to visit me in our Discipleship Training School.
One of my teachers graded my homework less than I thought I deserved. To prove myself that I was right, I made a comparison with the homework done by my wife who had a higher grade given by another teacher. This gave me a feeling that I was again treated unfairly. After a day of being incensed with thoughts of being treated unfairly, I resolved to bring up this matter with my teacher. Unknowingly, my forgotten pain with those two college teachers surfaced like a ghost that haunted me. The bitter spirit aggravated my pain, agitating me to stand up for my right to a fair grade. With this resolve, in spite of the conscious manner to stay calm during confrontation, my pain was much greater in displaying my arrogance.
After confronting my teacher, the Holy Spirit made me recall my bitter past with my college teachers. The Lord led me to forgive them in prayer.
I came to realize that my defensive and offensive reactions and responses were clear indicators of the several incidences of pain and bitterness in my past,
The Lord made me know and understand that bitterness will always come out to the surface. If unresolved, it molds our behavior. Behavior molds our character. Character molds our personality. Like a bitter tree, we bear bitter fruit.
At this time also, the Lord led me to the depths of understanding what forgiveness is.
Forgiveness is a resolve of the mind and heart on giving up your anger and desire to punish a person who has hurt you. Then, this resolve will take you to the next level of blessing and loving that person in the Lord. When you meet that person again by chance or by appointment, you will not be uncomfortable in any way because, in the spirit realm, all curses and iniquities between you and that person have been erased.
Forgiveness is the key to healing. Our reactions, responses, and behavior are the indicators if we are forgiving or unforgiving.
The adage “Forgive and forget” is well meant for the hurting to forget the pain. Generally, the advice is to forget the episode. Incidentally, if the pain is traumatic, it will unlikely be forgotten. But the offended can still forgive the offender because forgiveness is a choice. I have seen hurting people tell their stories with irresistible tears in their eyes. I have been there myself where tears of pain displayed my bitterness.
Christians hypothetically know that forgiveness must be extended to any offender. It is one of the basic truths commonly preached. We can see this in Matthew 6:14,15.
14 For if you forgive others their offenses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you; 15 but if you do not forgive others their offenses, your heavenly Father will not forgive yours.
It is understandable to see the deeply hurt person unable to forgive easily. The excruciating pain deeply rooted paralyzes the ability to give up the fear, the pain, the offense.
The mind plays a vital role with the heart in making decisions.
Pain & Pleasure
Hurt and bitterness are depressing. So a hurting and bitter person, in his struggle for survival, would naturally seek comfort and pleasure in order to soothe pain. If in this process, healing and relief are not sought in God, there is a strong tendency to fall into the comfort and pleasures of this dark world where lust and sexual pleasures deceptively provide temporary relief.
In the kingdom of darkness, bitterness and lust are allies. In the Kingdom of Light, forgiveness and love are allies.
Lust can enter at any age, even in old age. A young or old person can be obsessed with lust. It can be the first root that will bear fruit. In a family environment, it can easily defile any one living there. Lust is sticky because of the physical pleasure it creates.
Lust covets. It is selfish. It demands pleasure for oneself. This becomes a platform for pain and hurts. When this lust goes deeper into the roots, it will bear more fruits in various forms of sexual transgressions.
It is in this premise that the deliverance of a person from lust must start from the roots of bitterness. Lust is one of the manifold fruit of bitterness. So it would be futile to get rid of the fruit once and for all if the roots are not dealt with. This is a common failure in deliverance–the cutter is only cutting the fruit not the roots so this fruit bearing tree of bitterness and lust keeps on bearing bitter and lustful fruits.
How to Get Rid of the Roots
1. Pray in spirit and in truth to cut the roots. This may go as deep as generational roots where sins and curses originated in the family.
2. If you have access to the persons involved in these roots, involve them in cutting the roots. If it is not possible because they disagree with you, then proceed with the cutting process symbolizing them.
3. Prayer is a powerful channel that connects us with God, the God of Truth whose Will for us is to be free from bitterness and lust and from any sin.
How To Overcome Lust
It is the Anointing that breaks the yoke of lust. Isaiah 10:27
And it shall come to pass in that day, that his burden shall depart from off thy shoulder, and his yoke from off thy neck, and the yoke shall be destroyed because of the anointing.
More on this soon on how I overcame lust in the manifest Presence of God: The Presence Anointing
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